A few years ago, I did a study on stand up comedians. This became the basis of one of my main developments which became known as the ‘laughter filter’. One of the things that I wanted to discuss this month is some skills for dramatically improving your ability to use humour.

When in Orlando I got the opportunity to present a station on Language and simplifying how to become more effective with it. This month I wanted to discuss the Meta Model and how it can be made simple to understand. Hence, I will explore it's functions, how to use the questions and how to know when to apply it.

THE FUNCTIONS OF THE META MODEL

Firstly, the three main functions of the Meta model is to specify information, clarify information and through doing either of these functions to perform a potential third function: to change beliefs.

HOW TO USE THE QUESTIONS OF THE META MODEL

Secondly, there are a variety of questions that constitute the Meta Model.

For statements that are declared as facts but which are really opinions you can ask the question: WHO SAYS? By answering you and taking or giving ownership of the statement the person reveals the statement as an opinion.

For generalisations you can repeat the general expression back with an upward intonation as a question as a challenge for it: EVERY, ALWAYS, NEVER..

For process words that they turn into nouns (things that don't exist in reality but describe an event that occurs) you can ask WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT? (Depression, stress, anxiety, success, failure)

For non-specific nouns or verbs you can ask WHAT SPECIFICALLY, WHO SPECIFICALLY, WHERE SPECIFICALLY, WHEN SPECIFICALLY or HOW SPECIFICALLY?

For comparisons you can ask IN WHAT WAY EXACTLY? or THAN WHAT?

For examples when a person assumes they know something that another is thinking or what will happen in the future: HOW DO YOU KNOW?

For examples when a person connects two events or experiences in causal terms. (Event A causes Event B). The challenge could be: HOW DOES A CAUSE B?

For examples when a person connects two events or experiences in equivalence terms. (Event A is the same as Event B). The challenge could be: HOW IS A THE SAME AS B?

Thirdly, you apply the meta model whenever you want more specific or clear information or when you want the person to realise that the ideas they have are not well thought out and are not very accurately based in reality.

For examples, by asking WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY STRESS MANAGEMENT? you can gain a better understanding of what a company is looking for in their trainings. By asking WHO SAYS THAT THIS DEAL IS IMPOSSIBLE? you are getting people to realise that is just a belief that the deal is impossible and thus it can be changed.

When a person assumes his co-workers dislike him, the question HOW DO YOU KNOW? forces him to provide some evidence. Usually the evidence will be in the form of saying one behaviour MEANs that they don't like him (eg. frowning). You could use HOW DOES FROWNING MEAN THEY DON'T LIKE YOU? to reveal that his evidence is not strong enough to hold such a conviction.

The Meta Model allows you to use powerful questions to directionalise the consciousness of a person and thus assists them to finding solutions to problems and gaining useful understandings which will enrich their experience of life. it also allows you to get a clearer understanding of exactly how they think so you can communicate more effectively with them.

You can use the Meta Model in reverse (using the patterns rather than the questions) and when you do that you'll be able to become more 'artfully vague' which will allow you to use words that encourages a person to go inside more and access their own unique experience of the word. Words can be like magic when you learn to use them well. Through using the questions of the Meta Model you get to understand experience more easily and you get to discover the difference between what a person knows and what they think and you can get them thinking more effectively.

To me it's one of the most essential elements of NLP and it's crutical if you wanna get good results that you master it. Once you've mastered it, there are some very cool fine distinctions that allow you to get even more impact. For example, in Johns upcoming seminar: ADVANCED NLP SKILLS, he's revealing some of the coolest language stuff he learned and developed in the 80's and 90's that he hasn't shared in years about using words brilliantly to get powerful results. It's very exclusive and he hasn't done it a long time so it'll be very, very cool.

When in Orlando I got the opportunity to present a station on Language and simplifying how to become more effective with it. This month I wanted to discuss the Meta Model and how it can be made simple to understand. Hence, I will explore it's functions, how to use the questions and how to know when to apply it.

THE FUNCTIONS OF THE META MODEL

Firstly, the three main functions of the Meta model is to specify information, clarify information and through doing either of these functions to perform a potential third function: to change beliefs.

HOW TO USE THE QUESTIONS OF THE META MODEL

Secondly, there are a variety of questions that constitute the Meta Model.

For statements that are declared as facts but which are really opinions you can ask the question: WHO SAYS? By answering you and taking or giving ownership of the statement the person reveals the statement as an opinion.

For generalisations you can repeat the general expression back with an upward intonation as a question as a challenge for it: EVERY, ALWAYS, NEVER..

For process words that they turn into nouns (things that don't exist in reality but describe an event that occurs) you can ask WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT? (Depression, stress, anxiety, success, failure)

For non-specific nouns or verbs you can ask WHAT SPECIFICALLY, WHO SPECIFICALLY, WHERE SPECIFICALLY, WHEN SPECIFICALLY or HOW SPECIFICALLY?

For comparisons you can ask IN WHAT WAY EXACTLY? or THAN WHAT?

For examples when a person assumes they know something that another is thinking or what will happen in the future: HOW DO YOU KNOW?

For examples when a person connects two events or experiences in causal terms. (Event A causes Event B). The challenge could be: HOW DOES A CAUSE B?

For examples when a person connects two events or experiences in equivalence terms. (Event A is the same as Event B). The challenge could be: HOW IS A THE SAME AS B?

Thirdly, you apply the meta model whenever you want more specific or clear information or when you want the person to realise that the ideas they have are not well thought out and are not very accurately based in reality.

For examples, by asking WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY STRESS MANAGEMENT? you can gain a better understanding of what a company is looking for in their trainings. By asking WHO SAYS THAT THIS DEAL IS IMPOSSIBLE? you are getting people to realise that is just a belief that the deal is impossible and thus it can be changed.

When a person assumes his co-workers dislike him, the question HOW DO YOU KNOW? forces him to provide some evidence. Usually the evidence will be in the form of saying one behaviour MEANs that they don't like him (eg. frowning). You could use HOW DOES FROWNING MEAN THEY DON'T LIKE YOU? to reveal that his evidence is not strong enough to hold such a conviction.

The Meta Model allows you to use powerful questions to directionalise the consciousness of a person and thus assists them to finding solutions to problems and gaining useful understandings which will enrich their experience of life. it also allows you to get a clearer understanding of exactly how they think so you can communicate more effectively with them.

You can use the Meta Model in reverse (using the patterns rather than the questions) and when you do that you'll be able to become more 'artfully vague' which will allow you to use words that encourages a person to go inside more and access their own unique experience of the word. Words can be like magic when you learn to use them well. Through using the questions of the Meta Model you get to understand experience more easily and you get to discover the difference between what a person knows and what they think and you can get them thinking more effectively.

To me it's one of the most essential elements of NLP and it's crutical if you wanna get good results that you master it. Once you've mastered it, there are some very cool fine distinctions that allow you to get even more impact. For example, in Johns upcoming seminar: ADVANCED NLP SKILLS, he's revealing some of the coolest language stuff he learned and developed in the 80's and 90's that he hasn't shared in years about using words brilliantly to get powerful results. It's very exclusive and he hasn't done it a long time so it'll be very, very cool.

Asking the Right Questions
 
There is so much knowledge available to us, so much that we can learn, understand, use. Every day millions of people across the world enter book stores and buy books which promise to help them make their lives better. Most people buy such books, read a couple of pages and go out and buy more books. While many books do indeed have little useful information inside of them, many people develop an addiction to HAVING such books without actually USING such books. It's almost like they expect by Osmosis that the infomation will creep out of their books at night and sneak into their brains while they sleep.

While this may be possible, it's far more likely that we need to use information as it's presented to us. The crazy thing is though, the information we are provided with does not just come in through the books we buy or tapes or cds, it is EVERYWHERE. It is all around us in the millions of nuances of people communicating with each other. It's in the millions of things we experience each day that we take for granted. The main reasons we aren't getting most of it as we might is down to two reasons... our sensory acuity and our focus.

Now John LaValle often describes how in any given interaction all the information we need about that person is available to us there and then in the interaction IF we have the sensory skill to observe it. If you haven't attended an NLP course yet then get yourself on one. One of the best things you get from most quality NLP courses is a fantastic ability to calibrate, tune in and observe what's in the environment in amazing new ways. Quality NLP courses teach you how to sharpen your senses, GET MORE OUT OF YOUR HEAD (I love that four way ambiguity:- see if you can spot all four, or even five if I've missed one)

The second area in which we can learn to get more information that is available to us is to change our focus. We miss so much because we are too busy filtering all the information through a channel that searches for what is relevant to us at that moment and what is in alignment with the state of our minds.

For example, when you are walking through a park, it's common to miss the entire experience because you were deeply in thought about something. If someone has accused you of something and you are talking to them about something else, your defensive feelings will often make you interrpret most of what they are saying as some kind of an attack. The key to changing your focus comes from changing the questions you ask yourself.

When you ask yourself a question, your brain will go in a specific direction to locate the information or experience. When you come across a problem and you ask "Why me?" you'll get reasons and you'll feel terrible. On the other hand, when you ask yourself "How can I solve this the best way the quickest?" Your brain will search for the solution. Using this to get so much more information from your experiences is simple.

Begin to ask questions like: What can I use from this? What do I need to know from this book? What is this person telling me with their state? What are their intentions? How can I best get the most amount of valuable information from this person/book/experience?

Get the message? When you ask yourself a clear, clean, direct question, it allows you to fine tune your outcomes of getting more information when you need it. Consider it a form of WELL FORMED ELICITATION. It's not rocket science... but we rarely do it properly. It is really effective and it can make a HUGE difference to your life. Consider really what would be possible if you were able to get 10 times more information from your world than you have been... it's the route to enlightenment or at least enlightenment of some sort!!!

Moving Ahead with Language
 
I was recently attempting to explain the principle of tag questions and time predicates to my cousin who has no background of NLP and I realised how simplistic it sounded when the explanation of how language affects the brain is not provided.

To move ahead with language it’s important to realise that every word carries with it different meanings. To be aware of how language works provides you with powerful new devices for creating behavioural change and attitude change in a matter of moments. How many times have those of us working in the NLP field been told by one of our clients: thanks so much, it’s changed now, but I don’t know how… you seemed just to be talking to me and then everything was different. Did you hypnotise me without me knowing?? Well sort of… if language creates hypnosis and communication is hypnosis.

You see what I’ve always wondered about was how far could language go, how much change was possible with learning to use the right words in the right ways for the right responses? I soon began to realise that the more elegant you get in noticing distinctions in language and utilising words more thoughtfully, the more change is possible. As far as limits go there don’t seem to be any. The question is where do you want to go to and when.

With language it’s useful to understand how it affects the brain. Very briefly, you speak words and you create representations in the other person’s mind, which act as their thoughts. Of course they filter and alter what you say to fit their own map or model of the world at the time. The result is not what you have attempted to convey, rather their interpretation of your words, which in turn are only your interpretation of your thoughts.

The use of loaded words is one example of how this works. Loaded words are words used by cults. They involve creating words that categorise a particular group of people in some way. So the members of the cult learn words, which refer to the outside world. These words become insults through negative conditioning used by cult leaders. Soon we have words, which help tunnel the person’s perception towards living inside of the cults rules. If he or she does not, they will become an outsider and their identities will be shaped by the loaded words the cult teaches them.

This has been happening for centuries. Western Civilisation has referred to the rest of the world as ‘savages’. The connotations from words such as this do not help in the escalation of violence through the ages. The words are used to not only insult but also create negative impressions and representations inside peoples’ heads of certain ideas. The wars that have plagued mankind since time began and continue to do so are over four main issues: POWER MONEY RELIGION & LAND

And each of these four issues carries with it, a large set of linguistic distinctions, which provide parties on both sides the opportunity to persuade and use language to ignite violence. From Ian Paisley to George Bush, So Damn Insane to Osama Bin Laden, they all have one thing in common: they all use language to create hatred and bitterness. They use words that are rich in effect. These words enter our heads and scream loudly with meaning and emotion.

We are led by propaganda and “education”. Indeed, Noam Chomsky describes propaganda and education as being the same thing, depending on what perspective you are looking at them from. We are controlled by what they want us to see, hear and feel. It is learning to appreciate every word in and of itself, and notice how every word creates differences in our thoughts, by listening literally to language… that we begin to truly appreciate how we can create more useful worlds through communicating thoughts and we can begin to truly achieve freedom.
 
 

Education is a Verb not a Noun
 
There has been much reporting about the structure of the Irish Education System and how it must develop and change with the worldwide global revolution that is taking place. Inside the corridors, classrooms and lecture rooms of Irish educational establishments there are some horrifying inconsistencies, which are never mentioned but must urgently be addressed.

Throughout every subject in every college there is a large variety in the styles of the lecturers. Throughout every school in every class, there is also a variety in the styles of the teachers. This, in itself, is a good thing. Unfortunately, different styles means different standards and there is a HUGE gap between some lecturers and teachers and others in terms of how good they are at teaching or educating.

We are surrounded with EXCUSES such as “Learning Disability” and “Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder” which place the blame of slow learning at the feet of the children or students themselves. If there is something wrong with them then we don’t have to face it as a problem with the way we do things. Why is it however that most of the children I’ve ever met with ADHD or Learning Disability can have their attention locked onto a Playstation for over 4 hours without moving and are able to learn rapidly every name of every player on their favorite football teams?

In this society, education is certainly improving in many areas. Most of the teachers I’ve met have a really healthy attitude to teaching children. A nine year old son of my friend brought back from school a book which taught communication skills, something I never remembered learning in school and yet one of the most valuable skills in life. There is one area however that requires urgent attention.

TEACHING SKILLS. When doctors are brought through their specialist area they are not just told the content of what they are to do, they are trained how to do it. They watch the best doing it and they model them. They practice what they see the best do and they master it. If they didn’t would we ever let them near us. YET it education, teachers are never taught exactly HOW to do what they are told to do.

In colleges and universities, lecturers are taught NOTHING about HOW to lecture, which absolutely amazes me. The joke about Lecturing being the process whereby notes of the lecturer are passed to notes of the student without entering the brains of either is so accurate a description of many lecture halls today. Teaching although not quite as bad has also similar concerns.

They are taught the subjects they need to cover and classroom management is glossed over, but they never really learn how to put information in multiple ways to ensure every student learns in their own style. They are never taught how to make learning fun and enjoyable so that the children grow up with a healthy attitude about it. They are never taught to inspire children’s beliefs in themselves, which has been shown to have a huge impact upon their educational success later in life.

To me, it’s a miracle that there are so many brilliant teachers and lecturers out there that do a lot of this instinctively. BUT this must become STANDARD in our educational system. The way we learn is as important as what we learn. If we disregard that we will fail to provide children and students with a solid grounding to continue to improve. This also fails our teachers. Their job satisfaction, stress levels, self-appreciation are ALL affected by how well their students are doing and how much their students enjoy being in class.

SO What is the SOLUTION? Well as the old saying goes we won’t know till we find out. I have a few ideas however. I teach Psychology and I train adults in Psychological skills known as NLP. NLP briefly stands for Neuro Linguistic Programming. It basically studies how the most effective people in any area think, feel and behave as they perform at their best.

NLP originated from studying the best change agents and therapists of the 1970’s to find out what they did that helped their patients change their lives. It evolved into business, health and education and studied those who were considered to be masterful teachers. What makes the best so good? What was found is that there are certain beliefs that they have, certain ways in which they think and certain ways of using language and communication that makes them so effective.

NLP teaches people how to communicate better. It teaches people how words affect the brain at a very basic level and how to use language with real precision to ensure people retain what they heard. It teaches people how to generate resourceful and powerful emotional states in themselves and others which promotes optimal learning. It teaches people about the different learning strategies and styles which there are and how to develop a number of different styles and strategies in yourself and others.

For example, there have been many studies that originated from NLP that demonstrates that good spellers all spell by making a picture of the word inside their mind and getting a feeling about the word being correct or not. Those who don’t spell as well often hear the word repeated over and over to themselves first and hence they don’t get the same results. It’s not a talent to be able to spell, it’s simply a different strategy you use. When you learn what strategy a person has you can teach them another one which better suits the kind of information you are teaching. The implications for this have been massive.

What’s so magical about NLP is its’ simplicity. It is often described as having a users manual for the brain. When a teacher or lecturer imparts information, they are affecting their students brains. There is so much more to be learnt about how to do this in the most effective and powerful ways. Learning is a process. Teaching is a Process. Before concerning ourselves with the politics and structures of education in Ireland, perhaps it is time we began to LEARN HOW TO MASTER THESE VITAL PROCESSES.

NLP: Educating the Skeptics & Cynics

When I first got into this area of NLP, I was a cynic totally and completely. In no way did I believe that a phobia could be cured so quickly, that you could feel really good most of the time or that you could change your beliefs so easily. Ireland, I believe, is quite a cynical nation and many of the people who I have met have been very sceptical about NLP like me when I first began exploring the area.

What I have to say is not to convince the sceptics or cynics out there that NLP has all the answers or indeed that it is the solution to most of your problems. It is only a different way of thinking. It is a way of thinking which challenges the alternatives. There are lots of different ways about looking at the way we think or behave and the way we do things. NLP shows us ways of looking at these things, which are, by their very nature, useful.

The art of using NLP is to begin being more cynical about all that, which made you feel bad and more open to what works for you usefully. We all have choices. If we choose to look at NLP as a cult or as a pop psychology movement filled with hype then we could but we would be missing what it is truly about. We would be missing all the things we could get from it. We would be missing all the tools we could learn which could help us in our lives. We would be missing out on valuable learnings because we prefer to ‘feel right’ than we do to help ourselves.

I still think that there is a need for cynicism and skeptisism but it’s vastly overrated. I am still cynical about certain things but only until I gain and experience in it. When I experience something myself that’s when I will judge if it works or not, if it’s valid or not.

In the world we live in, distinguishing what is real and not, what is true and not, what is right and not, is not an easy task. For every scientist you can give me to prove one side of some argument I can give you another who can prove the exact opposite. We all live in these models of the world and from them we have certain views, certain ways of speaking about things, different feelings about things.

Some of our models hold us back from being effective and some of them allow us to be effective. If we believe we are good learners, that will open up our learning channels and allow us to take in information more easily. If we believe we are bad musically then our belief will hold us back. We will use it as the blueprint for our efforts in music and we will work to fail.. it’s a self fulfilling prophecy.

My training is as a researcher, a scientist, but I’ve always preferred getting my hands dirty and practising in the real world. The fundamental flaw I’ve found in science was not that they didn’t accept things were true until they got proof, it’s the type of proof that they are looking for.

I won’t except anything as true unless I have proof and the proof I’m talking about is an experience. According to the scientific method in all cases proof exists according to certain rules that must be followed for standardisation yet most of the time standardisation simply restricts the ability of the experiment to work properly.