• Some puns for you:
• 
  
• What do you call a country where everyone drives a red car?  A red carnation.

  A pessimist's blood type is always b-negative.

• A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.

• A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

Corduroy pillows are making headlines.

Every morning is the dawn of a new error.

Sea captains don't like crew cuts.

A successful diet is the triumph of mind over platter.

A gossip is someone with a great sense of rumor.

Reading while sunbathing makes you well, red.

A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.

Dijon vu - the same mustard as before.

When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.

A lot of money is tainted. It t'aint yours and it t'aint mine.

A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.

He had a photographic memory that was never developed.